A man is like a soda you wanted to drink for breakfast but forgot to put in the fridge the night before... warm and completely useless.

A man is like rusty patio furniture, useless and your mom refuses to get rid of him.

What's the difference between a man's penis and an alarm clock?
Nothing. They both go off and you just want to hit the snooze button, roll over, and fall back asleep.

A man is like a plate of hors d'oeurves...At first you can't decide, but you always wind up with the tiny weiner.

What's the difference between a man and a holiday ham?
One pays the bills, the other one gets you pregnant.

A man is like a period of gym class...You'd rather sit down and rest than play with all those balls.

a man is like peeing drunk in the ocean 5 times while still wearing your clothes, it feels good when you're doing it but later you're like, "Fuck I was drunk!"

A man is like a sandwich, you hope there isn't any mayonnaise on it.

a man is like a pube, you hate wearing a bathing suit when they're around

a man is like a flower. always check his stems.

A man is like a box of wine, take his sac out for fun times in the park then throw up later.

A man is like a blind goat, you wonder how the fuck it got into your house.

A man is like a loaded gun, you feel powerful when you hold one but it's kind of weird.

A man is like a cold beer, you don't want it anymore when it warms up to you.

A man is like an analogy. One day he'll be checkin you for water-ticks, the next day he'll be peein on your grave.