A man is like a plate of hors d'oeurves...At first you can't decide, but you always wind up with the tiny weiner.

What's the difference between a man and a holiday ham?
One pays the bills, the other one gets you pregnant.

A man is like a period of gym class...You'd rather sit down and rest than play with all those balls.

a man is like peeing drunk in the ocean 5 times while still wearing your clothes, it feels good when you're doing it but later you're like, "Fuck I was drunk!"

A man is like a sandwich, you hope there isn't any mayonnaise on it.

a man is like a pube, you hate wearing a bathing suit when they're around

a man is like a flower. always check his stems.