Men are like vespa scooters, sometimes they're convenient but everyone makes fun of you for riding one.

A man is like a soda you wanted to drink for breakfast but forgot to put in the fridge the night before... warm and completely useless.

A man is like rusty patio furniture, useless and your mom refuses to get rid of him.

What's the difference between a man's penis and an alarm clock?
Nothing. They both go off and you just want to hit the snooze button, roll over, and fall back asleep.

A man is like a plate of hors d'oeurves...At first you can't decide, but you always wind up with the tiny weiner.

What's the difference between a man and a holiday ham?
One pays the bills, the other one gets you pregnant.

A man is like a period of gym class...You'd rather sit down and rest than play with all those balls.